The Cell Block Tango
by Angel of the Axis
Summary: The six despaired murderesses of the Towa City jail discuss why they've been given jail time. One-shot. Rated for slight language and mentions of murder.


**A/N: Before I start, yes, I know Fujisaki's a guy. Just pretend for this one that he is a legit girl, okay?**

 **Anyways, welcome to the Cell Block Tango! Please stay tuned for more!**

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"Aho."

"Twelve."

"Snip."

"Uh-uh."

"Towa."

"Hinata."

"...Come again?" The guard squinted his eyes at the six female cellmates, all in a circle in the room.

They merely smirked at him and repeated.

"Aho."

"Twelve."

"Snip."

"Uh-uh."

"Towa."

"Hinata."

"What does that mean?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's why we're here, sweetheart." One of them, a busty girl with blonde hair drawled in a lazy tone, her voice smooth.

"Care to humor me?" He watched them with mild amusement, eyes moving from prisoner to prisoner.

The girls shared glances and nodded collectively. They began to snap their fingers in unison, moving about in almost a dance.

"Aho!"

"Twelve!"

"Snip!"

"Uh-uh!"

"Towa!"

"Hinata!"

"He had it coming! He had it coming! He only had himself to blame!" They began to sing in harmony, almost as if they'd rehearsed it to perfection. "If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you'd have done the same!"

All eyes went to the first girl, a pretty girl with long blue hair and bluebell eyes.

"You know how some people have these sayings that get'cha down? Like...Leon." She began, rolling her eyes. "Leon had a thing of callin' people 'baka' when he got upset. No, not 'baka'. ' _Aho_ '."

He looked mildly surprised at her.

"So I come home from rehearsals one day and I'm so pissed; I'm lookin' for some sympathy." She examined her nails boredly, leaning against the wall. "And there's Leon, sitting on the couch, on the phone, yelling at someone, calling them baka. No, not baka. _Aho_."

"So I said to him, I said, 'You say aho one more time'..." She sighed heavily, almost as if she was disappointed. "And he did."

"So I took the knife out of the kitchen and made two warning swings _..._ " Her expression suddenly got dark and her eyes looked almost as if they had swirls of despair running through them. It drove shivers up the guard's spine as she spoke.

" _In. To. His. Chest._ "

The rest of the girls sang in the background. "He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it..."

The girl glared and sang louder. "I bet'cha you would have done the same!"

The girls gestured to another with short honey blonde hair and brown eyes.

"I met Mondo Oowada from Hope's Peak Academy about six years ago and he told me he was single; we hit it off right away. So after graduation, we started living together. He'd go to his biker gang, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, and we'd have dinner." The short girl snorted, gesturing with her hands. "And then I found out."

"Single, he told me. Single my _ass_. Not only was he in a relationship...oh, no. He had twelve other girls. One of those polygamists, you know?"

"So that night, when he came home from riding, I fixed him his drink like usual."

She paused, then snickered. "You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."

The guard gulped. _This innocent-looking girl...?_

"He had it coming!" The other girls echoed. "He had it coming! He took a flower in its prime. And then he used it, and he abused it! It was a murder, but not a crime!"

The girls turned to a girl with long, dark purple braids. Her glasses looked worn, and her eyes were hard, gray.

"Now I'm standing in the chicken, making some tea with dinner, minding my own business. And in comes my lover, Togami, in a jealous rage." She mimicked his tone. "'You've been screwing Naegi,' he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', 'you've been screwing Naegi!'"

She grinned psychotically and pulled out two pairs of scissors from under her skirt. "And then he cut himself with my scissors. He cut himself with my scissors ten times..."

He felt his face turn pale at the sight.

"If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it...!" The girls turned, one by one, to the next in line as they sang. "I bet'cha you would have done the same!"

The next was a nervous-looking girl with short, neat strawberry-blonde hair and a hair clip holding one of her bangs.

"What am I doing here?" She asked. "They say my infamous lover held down that 'Ultimate Luck' and I stabbed his abdomen with a spear. But it's not true. I am innocent. I don't know why Monokuma says I did it. I tried to explain in the trial room, but they didn't understand."

"Yeah, but did'ja do it?" The girl with the braids asked her.

"Uh-uh." She shook her head frantically. "Not guilty!"

The guard felt a twinge of sympathy for this girl. She obviously didn't look like a killer.

"My sister, Mukuro and I, had this double despair plot and my lover, Izuru, went around with us." The next spoke, the girl with the ponytails. "Now, for the final act in our plot, we killed off fifteen students in a row. One, two, three, four, five, stabbing, bludgeoning, strangling, shooting, one after the other."

The guard couldn't bear to look at her eyes. They were swirls of despair, and she looked as if she'd given up on hope years ago. They sent tingles of fear down his spine.

"Well, this one night before the end we were in this Hotel Towa, the three of us, planning and having a few laughs at peoples' expense and we run out of bombs. So I go out to get some."

She leaned back, looking far too calm for this backstory.

"I come back, open the door and there's Mukuro and Izuru doing the position seventeen - spread eagle."

The whole space was filled with a tense silence for a few seconds as she looked up and her lips spread into an unnatural smile. "Well, I was in such a state of despair, I completely blacked out and I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands that I realized they were _dead_."

"They had it coming. They had it coming." The girls sang.

"They had it coming all along!" The girl sang with fierce passion. "I didn't do it!"

"She didn't do it!" The girls echoed.

"But if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?"

"They had it coming! They had it coming!"

"They had it coming all along!"

"They took a flower in its prime. And then they used it, and they abused it! It was a murder, but not a crime!" The five others and the girl with the ponytails alternated verses.

"I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me I was wrong?" She passed it off to the last girl.

"I loved Hajime Hinata more than I can say." The girl had unevenly-cut dark hair and big eyes. "He was a real passionate guy. Sensitive...but didn't know his talent. He'd go out every night looking for it, and on the way..."

She began ticking off names on her fingers, spitting each one out with malice. "He found Mahiru, Sonia, Ibuki, and Akane."

"I guess you could say we broke up because of passionate differences. He saw himself as alive." She paused. "And I saw him _dead_."

"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!" They syncronized. "The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!"

"They had it coming, they had it coming! They had it coming, they had it coming, all along! Cause if they used us, and they abused us, how could you tell us that we were wrong?"

"He had it coming! He had it coming! He only had himself to blame." The girls grew a bit louder, and the guard stood, almost fearful. "If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I bet'cha you would have done the same!"

"You say aho one more time."

"Single my ass."

"Ten times."

"Why did Monokuma put me in prison?"

"Position seventeen - the spread eagle."

"Passionate differences."

The girls danced right back into their cells.

"Aho."

"Twelve."

"Snip."

"Uh-uh."

"Towa."

"Hinata."

The cell doors slammed shut, and the cell guard gaped as the lights went out.


End file.
